Mother Zambia, in southern Africa, is a landlocked country of rugged terrain and teeming wildlife, with many parks, safari areas and people that’ll blatantly hurl soul rattling stares at you- if you’re in the slightest bit different.
I’ve always been different.
But for what felt like an eternity, to avoid the soul rattling stares and whispered opinions I shrunk myself and lived within the confines of people’s expectations of what a young Black African girl should look like, think like, dress like and be. In those couple of years, I’d managed to build a constrictive wall around my true self – with the looming, judgemental opinions of others as sturdy bricks. Having this wall built around myself left me feeling like I spent a great deal of time pacing about a tightly spaced room. Which I was, with no room to breathe or grow.
As the space around me grew tighter and the air increasingly got thinner the higher the wall rose, a mini revolution begun to stir inside. After many arduous conversations with myself I finally reached a turning point. The point at which I decided I wouldn’t shrink myself or apologize for living my life the way I wanted to, or evolving past the comfort zones of those who threw disapproving glances my way and offered their unsolicited opinions. And man was it liberating! To be unapologetically myself, to be lock, stock and barrel myself!
My whole approach and energy towards being ‘different’ brought a huge paradigm shift in my life- I finally felt like I could breathe- no more walking on egg shells, no more remaining silent. In all senses of the word happier. Since then I’ve met the most amazing, revolutionary, unapologetic souls, who I’ll introduce you to in the next couple of posts- who epitomize self-love, self-expression and strength because damn is it something to Serve Time as an Indigo. So ladies and gravies- I can’t emphasize enough the importance of staying 105% true to who you are, even with the inevitable backlash bound to follow, you just have to STICK IT TO THE MAN and do you!
So to all the people in Zambia who stare and pass little snide comments concerning my means of self-expression, whether it be my bright blue lipstick, my septum piercing (which some random closed minded moron man in the supermarket called self-mutilation when I was minding my business and paying for my Calamari Rings), my tattoos, the clothes I wear or my pastel coloured hair:
No. I will not apologize for evolving/living my life outside the bounds of your comfort zones nor will I shrink myself to make you comfortable. *insert zapper emojis here*
“‘I love myself.’
love and light